Being happy in marriage

In just a little over a month, Sara and I will have known each other for 15 years. In 6 months, we will have been married for 15. Neither of us hide the fact that this is a second marriage for both of us.

Our first marriages were definitely learning experiences and changed us a lot! Because of those first marriages, our path to today has been very different than most people we know. We met through an internet dating site ( Seemingly, we were improbable matches—opposite in many ways—and based on our account settings shouldn’t have been matched. But here we are, 15 years later!

2020 was hard on the whole world and has changed many things. Despite the hardships, I feel like it was a good year for our marriage and one that brought us closer. This year more than ever, I feel like we really were ONE more than ever.

Marriage is often compared to being a team but that puts it in a box. Sara is now and will forever be part of me. In the beginning I would thank God that he sent her into my life. Now I ask what I would do without her! She is my ROCK. She married me not only for the man I was in 2006 but for the man she knew I would become. Without her beside, behind, with me, I wouldn’t be the man I am now. (A very different man than I was in 2006–a better man I think)

I was talking with my father-in-law about this yesterday and he said that’s because “the I in me is growing smaller while the WE is growing!” That’s probably the best way I could describe it! At the altar, we say “I do”, but we really don’t understand what that means. Some never will, which is why the divorce rate is so high.

I think this is also why (and I never understood it until recently) I can look at her every day and see a woman more beautiful than the woman standing at the altar with me 15 years ago! We don’t have a perfect marriage because we’re not perfect, but I couldn’t dream of one better! 🙂

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